Single Again {for a day and a half}


“You never know what you have until you lose it.” It’s a quote by some unknown person. However, the truth of it has never been so real to me as within the last 36 hours….

I started that post in October 2011, when Adam went to Maine for our good friend Zach’s wedding.  I spent 3 days home alone, and I hated every minute of it.

This weekend has been another reminder of singleness for me, and I decided to look at what my life would be like as a single person in my current state.  I have so very much to be thankful for, and sometimes it takes not-having it for even just a day to remind me to express gratitude the way I should.

Yesterday, I went to work, and the day went normally, except for one thing:  I wasn’t really in too much of a rush to get home.  I had a to-do list of things to accomplish, but I knew it would be a quiet evening, and I’m not a fan of quiet when quiet means no-one-there-to-share-with.

I’m thankful that I have a husband that I am excited to come home to.  I’m thankful that I have a husband who lets me share all my silly/ridiculous/frustrating/ hilarious/obscure/pointless stories from my day.

I knew I would feel this way, so I stopped and picked up some Red Box.  It was weird.  I picked up a chick flick I had heard was decent (Why do I ever listen to other people in this area of life?) and a war flick that I only got because the movie I wanted wasn’t offered in my kiosk.

I’m thankful that my life does not consist of the shallow relationships of chick flicks or the sorrows and loss of war films.  God has blessed me with depth in relationships and joys unspeakable.

I bought my dinner.  That never happens.  I can hardly justify buying a Subway lunch, and I went and bought sushi.  It was either that or eggs and rice, but I’m out of eggs (again).  I made myself wait ’til I was home to eat, and then I sat at the kitchen table and watched a cheesy show on Hulu while I did.

I’m thankful that God has blessed me with a man who desires to be healthy and who encourages me to be healthy as well.

I cleaned my pantry and bathrooms, and halfway through, I decided I wanted to do a face-mask.  I did, and it was fun, and no, I don’t think they actually work.  I just thought it would be a good thing to do on my quiet night.

I’m thankful for someone to share my home with.  It’s nice to have someone else to blame the mess on. ;)

In all seriousness, I’m thankful that my house is more than a building to hold my things and a roof over my head.  It is a place of solace and peace, and a reminder of the love found in this place.

I worked on a Christmas present.   Yes, I have months to finish it, but this one is sucking every ounce of creativity out of me.  I’m determined to have it finished before Thanksgiving.  I hate last-minute shopping.

I’m thankful for a loved one that I desire to give gifts (love language).  I’m thankful that God has given me someone else to care about, because it’s way too easy to care only for myself.

I stayed up way too late and contemplated sleeping on the couch.  I locked the door and even brought in the spare key from outside and was sad I didn’t have Adam’s pistol next to me in bed.  I opened the scanner and listened to the County’s chatter.  I pulled pillows around me, tried to get comfortable, and slept on my back.

I was quiet.

I’m thankful for the friendship that I have with Adam.  I’m thankful that our relationship is not just noise or the presence of a body next to me at night.  Our friendship includes a security based on trust, honesty, and real love.

I took a run this morning the way I always do on Saturday mornings.  It was just me and my cellphone jogging along, and I didn’t have anyone to tell when I got home that I ran the whole course at a decent pace and nearly ran over a dying possum.  Just me.

I’m thankful for a husband who is proud of my silly accomplishments and who I know desires to care for and protect me.

It’s 11:30pm on Day 2 of Singleness.  I can’t wait for this day to end.

Welcome back, Adam.  You have been missed.

Goodbye, singleness.  You have not.

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