My Turn to Vent: My Husband


Titus is almost 3 months old (Time is FLYING).  Life is busy, and I find myself coming to grips with all there is to do and the quickly diminishing hours of free time (what’s that?).  Thus, the lack of blogging. I’ve been running around doing laundry (I call Titus my “liquid baby” for all the wet clothes/spit-up cloths we go through daily), changing diapers, singing lullabies, giving baths, and caring for this new little person…

But where is my husband?  He’s busy too, right? …or is he?  What is he doing again?

Recently, I’ve been overwhelmed by the number of women bashing their husbands on public forums and I find myself needing to address this outbreak.  So, bear with me as I vent a little:

My husband is a very hard worker.  His day at work often begins while he’s still in bed, as he gets phone calls from his employees, saying they’ll be late, they forgot to get gas, they’re stuck at a railroad crossing waiting for a really slow train (really???), or they’re [conveniently] sick on the first day of hunting.  He’s in work-mode immediately.  Don’t get me wrong; there are perks to living only 100 yards from your job, but the downside is that there’s no separation between work and home.  After all, you practically live there.

Speaking of living there, he starts work before 7 am every day and doesn’t often leave work ’til almost 5:15pm.  That’s a long day. Oh, and my husband doesn’t sit at a desk typing.  No, he’s handling, sawing, and grading lumber, doing math in his head (stuff that makes my head swim), assigning employees their work, keeping track of lumber purchase orders, meetings with foresters, and training workers on new equipment.

So, let me vent and tell you about how my husband is tired when he comes home and would like to relax a little, while I stayed in bed ’til 8:00 am playing with our smiling son.

Let me vent and say how he sleeps through the night but I get up with our son when it’s time to eat while I had the opportunity to lie down and nap this afternoon while Titus was sleeping.

Let me vent and say how he thinks differently than I do [Men and women think differently??] and perhaps might miss a detail or so in Titus’ schedule while I’m with the little guy all day and it’s almost second nature to me.

Let me vent about how he chooses to spend his spare change on fun things — after all, he spent the 50+ hours this week earning it.

Let me vent about how he fell asleep in the middle of a conversation with me– that’s right; he was outside in the frigid weather for 10 hours while I was in the warm house his hard work is allowing me to enjoy.

Let me vent about how he failed to meet my expectation because he was too busy providing for my needs.

Let me vent about the distance I will feel between us as a couple and the defensive way he responds (or shuts down) when I publicly humiliate, disrespect, and fail to appreciate him, his love, and his consistent hard work before others.

Yes, my venting is a awful twisting of reality into a skewed and self-centered perspective.

Let me challenge any women reading this to cease this ridiculous, disrespectful, condescending talk I hear, read, and see in which women who have hardworking, loving husbands take those men for granted and lose track of the wonderful life they’re living because of all he’s doing while they are unappreciative. [Of course, your hard work is helping make this life possible as well. I'm not discounting your hard work.]

courtesy of dsbn.com/au

courtesy of dsbn.com/au

Enough.

Enough of the man-bashing.

Enough of the hurtful, spiteful and disrespectful criticism of your husband in the public forum.

Ephesians 5:33 reads: “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  In what way can you show appreciation and respect to your husband and in doing so, stop focusing on his “failures”?  How can you respectfully communicate with him (in a private setting) how he can better understand your expectations, and in what way can you adjust your expectations in a way that is realistic and God-honoring?

God-honoring.  This is the key, the whole point to your marriage, my friend.  The point is not to have a happy-go-lucky marriage because it’s comfortable.  The point of your marriage is to mirror what the relationship between Christ and His church should be–perfect harmony.

So, let me vent a little about this wonderful man called my husband, about his love for the Lord, his daily care for me, his nonstop hard work, his dedication to his responsibilities, his passion for doing what is right, his overflowing love for his son, and his faithfulness to come home every night.

I am so grateful.

Check out my series on Five Ways to Love Your Husband as well as Five Prayers for Your Husband.

Posted in Adam, Faith, Family, Life, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

I’ve come to love the night.


The first week of being a mom I dreaded the night.  I will be honest that I was nervous about sleeping through Titus’ crying because I was too tired and sleeping too deeply to hear him.  I was not a fan of waking up multiple times a night, and I was hoping that poor Adam could actually get a good night’s sleep for his long days at work.

Then the days would come.  Life was getting back to normal after the first week of being home with my little man, and I was back to trying to accomplish all the various tasks of being a wife and homemaker.  Days were/are busy.  I can’t just sit still the way I want to.  Titus has to be set down. I have laundry to do, dishes to wash, food to cook, work to do, … the list is never-ending.  So, Titus spends a lot of time stretched out on the couch, snuggled in the Boppy, and/or listening to Pandora (he likes a wide variety of music).

Those times I am holding him I’m often multi-tasking.  Tonight I managed to make

a few weeks old

a few weeks old

eggplant parmesan for dinner while holding him.  Call me crazy, but it’s worked for those times that he won’t settle in the front carrier.

However, as my little man continues to grow, I’ve come to this one realization:  I really love the night.

At night, when he’s snuggled against me, and I’m sitting in bed or in the rocking chair feeding him, I have no other place to be.  I have no tasks to complete.  I have no reason to put him down.  It’s just me, my man Titus, his daddy sleeping next to us, and our Heavenly Father. Just us.

I don’t even care that I’m not sleeping when the rest of this side of the world is.  I don’t even care that I’ve not had a full night’s sleep since September 11th.  I don’t care at all.  Time is going quickly; my baby is growing too fast; and I am treasuring every (yes, every) minute of holding him.

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6 Weeks into Forever


“I’ll love you forever,
I’ll like you for always,
As long as I’m living
my baby you’ll be.”
I’ll Love You Forever by Robert Munsch

It amazes me that it has already been 6 weeks since Titus was born.  Wow, on one hand I want to say “Where has time gone?” and on the other hand, he is only 6 weeks and still so tiny! In just 6 weeks, we have adjusted to the new normal, and I have to say I love every minute of it.

[pause for a diaper change]

So much has changed… My everyday schedule, my lifestyle, my job, my body (haha…understatement of the year), and my workout schedule.  I don’t think there’s much left that his little life has not affected, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Like father like son -- even in how they sleep!

Like father like son — even in how they sleep!

Titus is Daddy’s little man, and he perks up (even in his sleep) when he hears Adam’s voice; but he’s my little snuggler, and being his mom is better than I ever imagined!  So far, as I think about my little man and the changes in him (already!), I have to smile as I am already packing up clothes he’s grown out of (so sad… some of my favorite outfits too!) and yet feeling thankful and excited at the developmental changes we’re seeing.  He’s a healthy, growing little boy!  

Titus is smiling, making eye contact, finding his thumb from time to time, eating 4-5 oz of milk every 3-4 hours, sleeping 4-6 hour stretches at night, growing an auburn mullet, rolling from his tummy to his back every once in a while (only when really mad), loving bath time (hurrah!), and stealing hearts wherever we go.  So far he’s been a really easy baby, crying little and settling quickly.  In short, we’ve been very blessed!  Last week at his doctor appointment, he weighed in at 9lbs 8oz and measured 22 inches. :)  As much as that is almost a 50% increase from his birth weight and 2 whole inches, he still is only between the 20th and 30th percentile for his age.  He’s such a little peanut!

I’m back to work, which is not really “back” at all, as I started working at the family lumber mill, where I can take Titus with me.  It’s such a different world than the law firm, but I love it!

I’m back to working out as well (I started running 8 days after he was born – blog post on this to come soon!), but I chuckle because even that has been affected majorly by the presence of my handsome boy.  Running now involves my BOB Ironman and pushing 48 pounds (stroller, car seat, and baby).  We had our first race this past weekend. We ran the OctoberFest 10k in 54:33.  Not bad if you ask me!  Lifting is happening too, but I feel like my muscles are growing out of proportion, as holding my little man, hauling his car seat around, and running with a stroller does nothing for the abs and everything for the shoulders and arms. :) Oh, well.  That schedule is odd too, as it often takes place during afternoon nap time, or once between feeding and playing.

1 day old

1 day old

Today, 6 wks old

Today, 6 wks old

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

… and today we reach the 6-week mark.  How crazy!  Only a month and a half into our new life, into our forever, and I’m overwhelmed by how wonderful this new “forever” is.

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37 Weeks 3 Days: How We Didn’t Make It to 40 Weeks


I’m sitting here with such a heart overflowing with love and gratitude.  A little sleeping baby, swaddled up and with a full belly, lies on the couch to my left on the couch.  It’s day 7 of this amazing journey.

0913132011

1 day old

If you’ve been following our pregnancy updates, you will know that Titus was not due until what had been finally determined as September 30 (They bumped his due date up a few days at our 36-wk ultrasound).  The doctor told me on Monday, September 9, at our last appointment before she went on vacation, that she didn’t think we’d make it to 40 weeks.  She was right. :)

Here’s our story:

Thursday morning (9/12) started off a little rough, as I was having a few more contractions than I had experienced previously.  I could feel that Titus has shifted down more, and I woke up with an slight “stomach ache”-ish feeling.  I had been having contractions (Braxton Hicks) off and on throughout the last few weeks, but they were not painful and half the time, I didn’t know they were taking place (The doctor identified them as happening, and I was unaware…multiple times)

I went to work, but the discomfort continued, and after a just feeling “off” all day, I decided to leave work early and head home.  As I left work, I decided that if that contractions were coming a little harder now, it was time to go get the car seat and a few other things I had neglected picking up so far.  As I walked around Target for a bit, I felt better and better, and by the time I got home around 5 pm, I was feeling fine, and the contractions had let off completely.  I was a little bummed.

Headed home from the hospital on Saturday

Headed home from the hospital on Saturday

Adam left for a fire call, and I decided to relax and put my feet up.  If this baby wasn’t coming after all, the whole day had just been uncomfortable for “nothing” and a little down time would do me well.  The downtime did not last long.  Adam texted me and said he’d be home soon, and I headed downstairs to start dinner. I used the bathroom first … and my water broke… or did it?  People seem to always know when their water broke, and it must be because their body starts contracting right away.  Mine did not.  In fact, I stood there for a second thinking “what was that?”  Then, the contractions came, 4 minutes apart, and I knew that was this was the real deal.  I attempted to relax by walking around the house and thinking about what I should have packed pack for a hospital bag, realizing I didn’t need much and all the baby clothes were at my mother-in-law’s getting washed.

I laugh now that I didn’t just call Adam on his cellphone, but I texted him to know his ETA.  I didn’t want him running out of the fire department overly excited.  After all, this was probably not my water breaking… right??  I must be mistaken, right?

Adam said he’s be home in 7 minutes, and I was watching the windows in 6.  He pulled in and he and Aaron sat in the car talking for a few minutes.  The contractions were regular and hard now, but there’s something overly dramatic to running out the car and freaking both of them out with the *chance* that my water broke and I’m in labor.  Call me silly, but I texted Adam, “Can you come in the house please?”  Realizing that might cause alarm, I added a second text: “Casually.”  Everyone including myself laughs when I think about that and how that was far from a casual request if I was asking that he come in casually. lol oh well, I was trying so hard to focus and be non-alarmist.

When I explained to Adam that I thought my water broke, he quickly packed a night bag for himself and called his mom; we headed to the hospital right away.  Well, it’s a good thing that we did!

By the time we got there, I was in serious pain with every contraction, and they were edging 3 minutes apart.  Walking was uncomfortable, talking was hard, and breathing was a chore.

Adam had called ahead, so as soon as we got to the ER, they got us triaged and called for the maternity ward to come get me in a wheelchair.  We made it to a small room, where they confirmed that yes, I was in labor.  Not only had my water broken, but I was now 7 cm dialated.  We were having a baby!

They moved me to the closest delivery room available, and I barely made it into the room.  I was there 2 minutes before and then my body decided it was ready to push.  I pushed for 10 minutes, as it only took 2 pushes to get his head out and 1 get the rest of him out.

Wow!  What a whirlwind!  We had arrived at the hospital at 6:48 pm, and Titus Garrett Bowman was born at 7:36 pm.

What a joy it has been to have our little man for even just a week so far. :) We are overwhelmed with a new kind of love and so incredibly thankful that God has allowed us to enter this new chapter of parenthood.  Pray for us as we do.  We have a lot to learn, I’m sure, but am so grateful for His blessing, protection, guidance and love.  More updates to come (I’m sure)!!

Can Daddy be any prouder? Adam introducing Titus to his first fire truck. (6 days old)

Can Daddy be any prouder? Adam introducing Titus to his first fire truck. (6 days old)

Posted in 3rd Trimester, Adam, Family, Pregnancy | Tagged , , , , , , | 3 Comments

36 Weeks: Less Than 1 Month!


We are officially less than a month from our due date!! Yes, yes, only by 2 days, but man, I am so excited about that fact!

How I Look

Apparently, I look like I should be tipping over ‘cause I’m “all belly”.  I’ll take that!  I’m still wearing my wedding ring and my face hasn’t gained any weight, so I’m happy!

Weight Gain

Last week I weighed in at 142.5 lbs.  I never know how accurate the weigh-ins are that are not first thing in the morning, but oh, well.  Even if that I how much I weight (Goodness, I’m catching up with Adam!) I’m happy with my gain.

How I Feel

Adam and my trophies for the Labor Day 5k. :)

Adam and my trophies for the Labor Day 5k. :)

I really have been so blessed to have had such a great pregnancy.  I have been feeling great.  I was telling Adam the hardest part of how I feel is this: my mind tells me that I should be able to do something or push myself as hard as I once could, and my body just tires a whole lot faster/more than it did before.  That’s getting old.  This past Monday we ran the Labor Day 5k in Greene.  I finished with a time of 28:09 and felt great… until I stopped.  As soon as I stopped running, I knew I was going to be hurting for a bit.  My pelvis and hips were killing me and no amount of stretching has been relieving the stiffness.  Sitting still feels fine, standing feels find, but movement is quite painful.  I have to laugh ‘cause I look like an old lady walking up and down stairs and through my office at work.

Oh well, I’m almost to the end, and that 5k was officially my last race before Titus’ arrival, so I’m okay with a few days of soreness.  It makes me smile to think that we’re so close to meeting him officially! :) :)

(On a side note: I placed 2ndin my age category! Lol gotta love small town races!)

Food Cravings/Aversions

I can’t say that I’m having any cravings or aversion.  Seafood sounds really good – sushi specifically – and some homemade iced tea has helped me stay hydrated.  I’ve been really really thirsty and averaging over 80 ounces of hydrating liquid (water and a few cups of decaf, homemade iced tea) a day.

Baby Size

I am dying to see my little man!  We have our next ultrasound this Friday!!! According to all the official sites, Titus is 4-6 pounds and 17-19 inches long.  Last week, my fundal height (size of the uterus) was measuring a week smaller than normal but I think it was just because of his position at that visit.  Either way, perhaps that means he’s a little small. :) I would not mind that!

Movement

I am happy to say he is still active.  He is quite a little bugger with a cute personality.  He responds to Daddy’s voice, hiccups about once a day, and sleeps well at night. :)

Predictions

I am going to say that I think he’ll be about 7lbs when born and he’ll have Daddy’s nose and lanky legs. Other than that, I’m not sure.  I also think he’ll come a little early —-but maybe that’s wishful thinking??

Labor Signs

My body is definitely preparing for labor.  I get random sharp pains as Titus “gets comfy” in the right position, and apparently, I’m having more practice contractions than I realized.  At my last appointment, the doctor asked me if I felt that contraction, and I told her I thought that was just Titus pushing out.  She told me that my body was practicing and explained what it would feel like in more detail.  That was pretty cool/exciting/freaky.  Too bad all contractions won’t be painless like that. ;)

Dr. Appointments

We’re having our next appointment on Friday. :) We FINALLY get to see Titus after 16 weeks of feeling him grow and move around.  Adam is pretty excited about seeing his little man again, and I’m ecstatic to be taking the afternoon off (as is Adam!) to start our weekend with another view of our son.  I’ll be posting a picture on here, so stay tuned!

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