I’m sorry if my last post – I’m Not Alright – made any of you worry. I am alright. =D In fact, I’m more than alright. God has been working in my life a lot lately shaping my whole worldview in amazing ways. I am alright. However, sometimes that shaping calls for God to bring us to end of ourselves so that He may be our All in All.
Remember how I had written on how God had been using relationships in my life to grow me? Well, that hasn’t changed. However, it’s definitely taken a different angle. God has shown me a lot this semester about friends and how He has so faithfully woven them into my life for my growth and more importantly, His Glory. Recently, He’s been sifting my view on myself as a friend, challenging me on what it means for me to be a real friend, showing me my selfish ambitions and movitations, and in essence, revealing to me a heart completely black with pride, selfishness, self-righteousness, and anger. My many thanks to my friends who have been faithful in calling me out on my sin and who have been used to God in this growing process…I should think you know who you are, but in case you don’t: Sara (my roomie), Jess H., Amos, Chad F., Peter, Audrey, Maria, Nick, Whit, Laney, my dearest sister Mandy, my Uptown Girl gang, Logan, Elijah, Brittany B., Shanley, Praus, Matt N., Mike M., Luke U., and some others of you who have affected me not necessarily by words but by your example. Thanks. (fyi: all the names were just entered randomly…no specific order….)
So, to answer to a very sweet friend’s question, “are you alright?” No. On my own, working in my own strength, depending on my power or abilities or looks, walking in my own wisdom — no. However, am I alright? Yes! In Christ, aided — no, not aided (for no amount of my strength means anything), but fueled completely by the true Love and perfect example of God’s friendship and mercy and selflessness with me, I am truly “alright.”
I’m learning important lessons, lessons that have been trying my heart in new ways; but they’re lessons that I’ve been needing to learn for a while – lessons on true worship and how it’s been lacking in my life; lessons on my own power or lack thereof to change the sin in my life; and lessons on my own motivations, impurities, and friendships. I smile; God’s Hand is in this stretching and growing process, so I smile as I anticipate what God will do in this for His Glory. =D