Classes have started, hunger has returned, and life goes on.

English Literature with Horner is playing in my ears as I write this.  Yes, classes have begun.  I’m taking four classes long-distance from Master’s and already feel like I’m behind.  I have so much to do.  Anyway, let’s move on or my post might stay there and I’ll lose every bit of little readership I still might have.

I’ve had a lot on my mind the last few days (and a few before that and few before that….).  The subject of this thought has been Christ.  It is so easy to allow Him to slip from the center of everything that I am and everything I desire.   I started and never finished a post a little bit ago called “A New Year and the Same-old Resolutions?”  I started out the post with the following thought:

I have an interesting question for you today, for you and myself.  It’s a new year.  We are all planning for the events of the year, transferring birthdays and anniversaries from one calendar to another, and writing our own lists of resolutions for this upcoming year of 2010. (and wow… that feels weird to type)

That same thought has been resounding in my head since that time when I so desired to sit down and write to you but got swept away by my ridiculously crazy schedule to go do something that definitely seemed more important and if not that, then atleast more pressing.

How many of your resolutions are the same ones from last year?  How many of those are spiritual disciplines that you somehow thought if you purposed in your mind to grow in, you would – not by hard work but by osmosis?  I’m at that place again myself.

For years I have sought to be a prayer warrior and yearly, it is my thought – not on January 1st, because I’ve never been a traditional person to have New Year’s resolutions – to change and grow in that area.  I openly recognize that my lack of prayer is a lack of dependence on the Lord and faith.  So why do I find myself continually feeling like I’m not where I should be in that area and desiring two grow?

Two things come to mind and that is that, first, I am so glad I am desiring to grow and change and love Him more!  I’m thankful for the conviction of the Holy Spirit that calls and woos my ever-wandering heart back to Himself!  This constant desire is cause for rejoicing!  Secondly, I come back to that desire and do really want to grow.  I want to grow in Him!  I want to know Him more!  How can I think I can do that without talking to Him, sharing with Him, and listening to Him?

I am thankful for the faithfulness and truth of the Word.  Adam and I are reading through Judges right now with the Word of Life school devotional that he is going through with his youth group.  I’m also starting to read Romans for my New Testament class with Dr. Wong (long-distance).  I’m excited to see how God will use the variety of Old Testament and New Testament passages in my life at this particular time.  I’m also taking Introduction to Biblical Counseling, and WOW… I’ve watched/listened to two lectures so far and already I’m feeling convicted in the areas that I’ve already been feeling convicted about – my self-dependence and lack of faith in God’s power to fulfill His promises and work miracles.  Coincidence?  I think not.

God is definitely at work in my heart.  I am thankful.

P.S.  Because I got distracted talking to a bridesmaid and my maid-of-honor about wedding stuff, I am actually not even listening to English Lit anymore.  Intro to Biblical Counseling is playing now, and yes, I’m still hungry.

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