Tuesday…. Wednesday…. Thursday! (ugh….FAIL.) These last few weeks have been super busy, so our Talk about It Tuesday have unfortunately been delayed a “few” days…. thanks for your patience!
If you’re tuning into this segment of Talk about It Tuesdays, then you probably know our discussion is loving our husbands. It’s not been an easy discussion, as I have not tip-toed through these topics of respect, trust, and prayer as we walk through these five ways to love our husbands. We worked through some great principles and gotten to the heart of what it means to love our husbands. Today is part four of that discussion. (Of course, these are not the only ways we can show love to our husbands, but I do believe that many other avenues for loving our husbands are in actuality tied into one of these foundational principles.)
This week I want to tackle the heart of loving our husband as it relates to service.
The Lord Jesus talked about this topic a lot during His time on earth. He discussed this in John 14 and a few other passages as well:
John 14:15, 21, 23-24:
“If you love me, keep my commands…Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them. … Anyone who loves me will obey my teaching. My Father will love them, and we will come to them and make our home with them. Anyone who does not love me will not obey my teaching. These words you hear are not my own; they belong to the Father who sent me.
The disciple John followed Jesus’ example and also wrote on the topic in 2 John 1:6:
“And this is love, that we walk according to his commandments; this is the commandment, just as you have heard from the beginning, so that you should walk in it.”
These verses clearly tell us that our love for the Lord Jesus will motivate us to action. Please note: It is not the other way around. We do not love the Lord because He commands it and we have to obey. We first love Him and then out of that love flows obedience.
So, that applies to us how?
Love for our husbands is meant to be one thing. Come on.. I know it’s been a few weeks, but the purpose of marriage is to be what? (Hint: Ephesians 5:23-32). That’s right: we are called to model the relationship between Christ and the church.
Now forgive me if you feel like I’m hounding that one point too much. That realization of my eternal purpose as a wife has changed my understanding of the church’s intended interaction with Christ and has allowed me to appreciate more of my husband’s Christlike attributes.
So, taking this idea of modeling the church and applying it to the lessons we can gain from the Bible on how love affects the everyday lives of the Bride of Christ (the church) in that it motivates obedience and all that comes with that quality, we can see that our love for our husbands should and hopefully does motivate our lives to action. What kind of action?
When I think about showing love to Adam, I’m often reminded of his love languages. I’ve talked about this before, but if you don’t know your husband’s love languages, I suggest you find out… and fast. It’s amazing to me that we really do have these tendencies to show love in certain ways and to receive love in very specific ways. (Note: Our languages for giving and receiving may not be the same.) Not knowing your husband’s love language can disrupt your ability to fulfill your role as a Godly wife and in turn, keep you from fulfill your God-given role of modeling the Church.
NOTE: Don’t be afraid to ask him! It’ll matter a lot to him that you cared enough to ask! I chose to ask Adam even though I thought I had a pretty good idea of what his was, and it turned into a rather profitable discussion.
Here’s an example of how this knowledge applies itself in real-life situations: Adam’s love language is not gifts. Although he appreciates it when I surprise him with a random gift/treat here and there, he does not thrive on this as a definite expression of love. (As a result, I didn’t get him anything for Christmas… ….. just kidding…well, not really — we took a trip as our present to ourselves, so yeah, he didn’t “open” any presents from me on Christmas.)
My reason for mentioning this is that this lack of giving him presents has not bothered him one bit. On the other hand, words of affirmation are very important to him, so I am careful to pay attention to the little things he does and the ways he goes out of his way to fulfill his role as a husband and show leadership, care, and wisdom… and to express gratitude to him verbally for those things! (For more detailed information on the love languages, please take the time to visit 5lovelanguages.)
Knowing Adam’s love languages allows me to act in a way that communicates my love to him. Whether your husband’s love language is gifts, quality time, or any of the other three love languages, they are all service–actions that are tangible ways of showing real love.
What does that service look like in your life today? How can you show love to your husband by serving him?
How can you model what the life of the believer should look like in interaction with our Savior by how you serve your husband every day? Does that mean making him a special dinner tonight? putting more time into the projects he asks you to take care of? helping him succeed in his responsibilities? being flexible? anticipating needs… and wants? being more verbal in expressing gratitude? remembering details about gifts wanted and surprising him with them?
I don’t know about you, but today, I am inspired to love my husband in a tangible way. Today, I am inspired to show him love in what I do, what I say, and how I interact with him. Today, I am inspired to dwell on how that can and does model how the church should interact with Christ and how application of these truths can revolutionize my marriage.
What about you?