I want you to close your eyes and just think for a moment: If you are meant to get married, if God has intended that joy/responsibility for you, then somewhere–right now– your spouse is sitting, sleeping, eating?, doing something… he/she exists. He/she lives. He/she might very well have his/her eyes closed thinking of you.
Ok, enough of the fairy tales, right? You open your eyes and you’re there, still single, still sitting here in front of your computer, wishing you weren’t slightly interested in what I had to say, wishing you could just be in that perfect relationship already.
I’m sorry you’re waiting, but I want you to stop again and think of that person (wherever he/she is). What is he/she thinking about? What if that special person of yours is thinking of you right now? Kinda makes you smile, huh? I know it makes me smile to think back to when Adam and I were living 30 minutes apart, living very different lives, aware of our desire to be with our special someone yet completely unaware as to how close we were in proximity to each other.
Perhaps your future spouse is next door. Perhaps your future spouse is thousands of miles away on a different continent. It’s not the location that matters to you, is it? It’s the knowledge that he/she is there. It’s the heart-racing hope that his/her mind might be on you at this time as well.
Let me ask you this: If I had known that I would eventually marry Adam, do you think I would have ever have been interested in or have flirted with anyone else? Do you think I would have let any other boy take any of my mental/emotional energy? I think not!
So, what about you? You can’t see his face. You don’t know his name. You don’t even know how long you have to wait ’til you know those details. Would knowing his name change how you lived today? Would seeing his face change how you interacted with members of the opposite sex? We all know that it would, but should it?
What if right now your future spouse was given the ability to see you in a vision? What would he/she see? Would he see you interacting your guy friends with respect for how he would feel later on? Would she see you checking out every good-looking girl you encountered or setting things before your eyes that you know would hurt her if she knew?
As you’re interacting with your friend of opposite gender today, consider if you’re acting in a way that would bring honor to God? Are you interacting in a way that honors and shows preference to your future spouse?
Years ago, some girlfriends and I did a Bible study on the book His Chosen Bride, and one point the author made stuck out to me:
Proverbs 31:12 reads:
She does him good and not evil
All the days of her life.
If you’re not married “all the days of [your] life”, then how can you bring your spouse good for all the days of your existence? This is how! You can show him/her honor and care by respecting him/loving her/caring for him/cherishing her more than you do yourself even while you’re not a couple!
Dating? Engaged? You still owe your future spouse (the person you’re dating at this moment or, perhaps, someone else…) the respect and love to act in a way that brings them good and not evil.
Trust me: he/she is so worth waiting for!
3 thoughts on “Talk about It Tuesdays: 50 Practical Do’s and Don’t’s for Relationships (Pt 2)”
lots of good points! I agree, I wish I hadn’t invested feeling in any other guys. I think sometimes the problem is at the time, we do think we’ll marry them!
Very well said 🙂
Great post Ashely! Thanks for writing this. I have been pondering a lot of the same things from the opposite side of the fence. I dont know who my husband will be someday – but I have started to look at my guy friends the way I want others girls to be looking at my husband now. Encourage him, help him, be a sister to him, pray for him, but please guard him too. I have some guy friends now who someday I’m pretty sure I’ll be friends with there wives. I want to be able to look those women in the face and say – here He is. I have been praying for him and encouraging him in the Lord and I have guarded his purity and heart – he’s all yours! (and man has he been waiting for you!)