I’ll be completely honest. I want to quit. This just isn’t something I want to do anymore. My body isn’t hungry, but my mind is. Everything looks and smells amazing (Hurrah for a sense of smell…not), and sometimes I just doubt why I’m doing this.
Not really… I just don’t like it anymore. It isn’t comfortable. It isn’t leisurely. It isn’t fun.
So, why keep doing it, you ask me? Why put myself through this? I’ve made a commitment to this. I’ve given my word to this task. I’m accountable to more than just myself when I make decisions. I’m accountable before the Lord, I’m accountable to Mandy, and of course, I’m accountable to you. My word has to be kept … or it means nothing. So, I press on, fighting to avoid finding my comfort in juices, gum, cooking shows, and recipes but to run wholeheartedly into the arms of Christ.
I realized that yesterday very soon after posting my daily blog post. I couldn’t have food, so instead, I was “feeling comforted” by the reading of recipes, planning of dinners, and watching of cooking shows. I wasn’t consuming food, but food was still consuming me. I had to ask God to consume me, to take my mind and reshape/refocus it, in order that I not waste this time of spiritual growth. As I mentioned at the start, if I don’t walk away from this more focused on God than on food, this whole fast was a spiritual waste.
Please don’t stop praying for me. 🙂 I’m through one week of six; there’s a long way to go.
Today’s cravings: tortilla chips, meat, and horseradish
2 thoughts on “Not by Bread Alone: Day 7/40”
Wow, I just read through your week and I am impressed by your commitment. My hope and prayer for you is that you are gaining all that you require physically and spiritually from this exercise.
Hey Ashley, I always glance at your blog but I’ve been keeping up with your fast to see how its been going. I know I don’t know you super well only from being on your wing, but I know your a strong woman! Im not so sure I could do it myself but I admire your strength. So keep it up:) Gods grace is sufficient for you.