Adam, Faith, Family, Life, Relationships

My Turn to Vent: My Husband

Titus is almost 3 months old (Time is FLYING).  Life is busy, and I find myself coming to grips with all there is to do and the quickly diminishing hours of free time (what’s that?).  Thus, the lack of blogging. I’ve been running around doing laundry (I call Titus my “liquid baby” for all the wet clothes/spit-up cloths we go through daily), changing diapers, singing lullabies, giving baths, and caring for this new little person…

But where is my husband?  He’s busy too, right? …or is he?  What is he doing again?

Recently, I’ve been overwhelmed by the number of women bashing their husbands on public forums and I find myself needing to address this outbreak.  So, bear with me as I vent a little:

My husband is a very hard worker.  His day at work often begins while he’s still in bed, as he gets phone calls from his employees, saying they’ll be late, they forgot to get gas, they’re stuck at a railroad crossing waiting for a really slow train (really???), or they’re [conveniently] sick on the first day of hunting.  He’s in work-mode immediately.  Don’t get me wrong; there are perks to living only 100 yards from your job, but the downside is that there’s no separation between work and home.  After all, you practically live there.

Speaking of living there, he starts work before 7 am every day and doesn’t often leave work ’til almost 5:15pm.  That’s a long day. Oh, and my husband doesn’t sit at a desk typing.  No, he’s handling, sawing, and grading lumber, doing math in his head (stuff that makes my head swim), assigning employees their work, keeping track of lumber purchase orders, meetings with foresters, and training workers on new equipment.

So, let me vent and tell you about how my husband is tired when he comes home and would like to relax a little, while I stayed in bed ’til 8:00 am playing with our smiling son.

Let me vent and say how he sleeps through the night but I get up with our son when it’s time to eat while I had the opportunity to lie down and nap this afternoon while Titus was sleeping.

Let me vent and say how he thinks differently than I do [Men and women think differently??] and perhaps might miss a detail or so in Titus’ schedule while I’m with the little guy all day and it’s almost second nature to me.

Let me vent about how he chooses to spend his spare change on fun things — after all, he spent the 50+ hours this week earning it.

Let me vent about how he fell asleep in the middle of a conversation with me– that’s right; he was outside in the frigid weather for 10 hours while I was in the warm house his hard work is allowing me to enjoy.

Let me vent about how he failed to meet my expectation because he was too busy providing for my needs.

Let me vent about the distance I will feel between us as a couple and the defensive way he responds (or shuts down) when I publicly humiliate, disrespect, and fail to appreciate him, his love, and his consistent hard work before others.

Yes, my venting is a awful twisting of reality into a skewed and self-centered perspective.

Let me challenge any women reading this to cease this ridiculous, disrespectful, condescending talk I hear, read, and see in which women who have hardworking, loving husbands take those men for granted and lose track of the wonderful life they’re living because of all he’s doing while they are unappreciative. [Of course, your hard work is helping make this life possible as well. I’m not discounting your hard work.]

courtesy of
courtesy of


Enough of the man-bashing.

Enough of the hurtful, spiteful and disrespectful criticism of your husband in the public forum.

Ephesians 5:33 reads: “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.”  In what way can you show appreciation and respect to your husband and in doing so, stop focusing on his “failures”?  How can you respectfully communicate with him (in a private setting) how he can better understand your expectations, and in what way can you adjust your expectations in a way that is realistic and God-honoring?

God-honoring.  This is the key, the whole point to your marriage, my friend.  The point is not to have a happy-go-lucky marriage because it’s comfortable.  The point of your marriage is to mirror what the relationship between Christ and His church should be–perfect harmony.

So, let me vent a little about this wonderful man called my husband, about his love for the Lord, his daily care for me, his nonstop hard work, his dedication to his responsibilities, his passion for doing what is right, his overflowing love for his son, and his faithfulness to come home every night.

I am so grateful.

Check out my series on Five Ways to Love Your Husband as well as Five Prayers for Your Husband.

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